So, I have basically been a Lent action dropout. I have gone MIA, and I have not kept up the 40 day challenge end of the deal. Was it really a deal? It was more of a drawing near to God for God’s whisper, guidance–a drawing near to God to express my gratitude and spend more time with God.
When Nanny died, my writing went off the rails, and Lenten blogs became a eulogy and a perfectly crafted obituary. On top of that, my scripture reading after tucking little one into bed slipped away, and I’m adrift again. I’m asking for God’s guidance and wanting to do God’s will, but I am not going to God’s feet to hear it. My One Year Bible will end in June or July when it was supposed to end in April. You finish when you finish–do you not? (I still believe God is lining up amazing “God wink” coincidences for the home stretch for this, my third read of the Bible.)
One thing I am thankful for is the kid’s Bible devotion I requested for Little One for Christmas. She is so insistent on reading it, that, if all else fails, I’m at least getting a kids’ devotion. Every. Single. Day. I may be eating like someone stuck in a Seven Eleven, but at least I am taking this here multivitamin! Ha ha.
I’ve been shocked how revisiting things meant for children can be gloriously profound. The kids’ devotions have been–along with my ongoing re-exploration and contemplation of the “time quintet” by Madeline L’Engle. The beauty of my God is that my God reaches out to me in simple words aimed at children. It reminds me that God’s will, grace, love, and story of redemption are painfully simple. That’s exactly it–painfully simple. So simple it’s hard. So simple it’s confusing. It doesn’t have to be. Jesus said “let the children come to me.” Aren’t we all children in God’s eyes anyway? Eternally children, doing what kids do? Experimenting, learning, NOT LISTENING, frustrating our parents? Whoops! I digress.
I caught myself listening to a talk at church a few weeks ago in which the pastor talked about how we make demands of God instead of doing what God had planned/intended of us–which is to God’s glory, and our personal benefit. It reminded me so much of one of my parenting phrases. When my daughter gets an attitude that lacks respect, I ask her, “Is that a question or a demand?” I will instruct her to conduct herself like a Jeopardy contestant and put her answer in the form of a question. If I’ve truly surrendered my will to God, shouldn’t I do the same? Shouldn’t I be asking rather than telling? Touche.
Let me drive because I know what’s best for you, okay??? (Says me to my daughter–says God to me!) You should have seen my child’s face when I told her that the Pastor told the grown ups to use questions rather than demands. She LIT all the way UP.
So, I didn’t achieve 40 days of blogging, but God used my insistent strong-willed daughter to plug me in to her kiddie devotions even when I lacked enough self-control to go to God’s feet and entreat my source. I am back, I want to do better, and Thank God that we are invited back to start over without counting it against us. Thank God the Shepherd didn’t scold the sheep that got lost, he welcomed it back and threw a celebration.