How many times have I wished and wished for a message from God? Lots and lots–and I’ve wanted Him to be clear with me, pllllease!
Since I’ve moved to ATL, I’ve felt disconnected and floating, trying to grasp at my new identity. I’ve felt like I don’t have girlfriends, but the “enemy” has been toying and manipulating me into thinking I need more.
This week a highschool friend, a college friend, and a brand new friend all rallied around me (at separate moments). The highschool friend and the brand new friend live in ATL area, and the college friend lives 3 hours away. All three of them are in wildly different stages of life, and their political preferences run the gamut. They are all beautifully genuine and incredibly thoughtful–these are the only (yet most important) similarities of the three.
As they spoke in my ear, their voices hit a harmonic . I know this harmonic was the voice of God, and it finally sunk in. God had been speaking to me for a tiringly long time, I just decided not to listen to his voice. I realized that my lovely girlfriends are each in different stages of life, each living her own stage: its ups, its downs, its triumphs, its “growth opportunities.”
I finally accepted that it’s time to focus ONLY on MY PATH–not where others are on their paths. God may be singing a different note with me than he is with my friend, my coworker, my sister-in-laws, and facebook friends (who doesn’t feel comparison pangs with their facebook friends?). I realized that in pursuing everyone else’s life path, I’ve been missing out on the one that is UNIQUELY MINE.
My Dear Art Professor said,
I know you want to paint like Bill (my archnemesis art rival and source of mondo jealousy). You need to give that up. You will NEVER paint like Bill, and Bill will NEVER paint like you. The minute you give that up and accept the way you paint, you will loosen up and paint like yourself. It won’t be forced–it will flow from your brush.
So, now is the time to applaud others’ efforts, accomplishments, and life paths but not forget to respect my own–to focus on my playlist and take more time to figure out the arrangement of my individual song.